


Battext

by RedWritingHood



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Disney References, Gen, Hints of Dick/Barbara if you ship them, Perfectly gen if you don't, So many Disney references, Texting, batfamily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 16:52:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12611072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedWritingHood/pseuds/RedWritingHood
Summary: The Bat family text each other.SB: hey, jJT: Great, now you too?SB: don't be like thatSB: i had fun last nightJT: You mean when you punched me in the face and then beat up bad guys with me?





	Battext

**Author's Note:**

> Haha what a creative title

**DG:** Bruce

 **BW:** What?

 **DG:** Its 12:00

 **BW:** So?

 **DG:** Just saying...

 **DG:** Do you know where your children are?

 

* * *

 

 **DG:** Its a good thing I dont get seasick

 **JT:** Dig?

 **DG:** Otherwise youd be in trouble

 **JT:** What the actual funk

 **DG:** Language little wing

 

* * *

 

 **TD:** I think I broke something,

 **JT:** Why do you think I would care?

 **JT:** And how did you get this number?

 **TD:** Ops siorry

 **TD:** Wtopng persdon.,,

 **JT:** You were serious when you said you broke something, weren't you.

 **JT:** Tim?

 **JT:** Tim.

 **JT:** Damp

 

* * *

 

 **BW:** Jason come home

 **BW:** We miss you

 **BW:** I miss you

 **JT:** Deck, get off of B's phone.

 **BW:** I dont know what youre talking about

 **BW:** Vitgilughgjf

 **BW:** Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **BW:** I have it back now.

 **JT:** I see that.

 

* * *

 

 **JT:** Seriously, who put a filter on my phone?

 **TD:** Why are you asking me?

 **JT:** Do you know or not?

 **JT:** Was it you?

 **TD:** It wasn't me. I don't know who it was.

 **TD:** Wait.

 **TD:** When you let me rest at your safehouse.

 **JT:** You didn't rest, you passed out.

 **JT:** What about when you were at my safehouse?

 **TD:** ...

 **TD:** It might have been me.

 **TD:** I was sleep deprived.

 **TD:** Don't kill me.

 **JT:** Run, replacement

 **JT:** Run like help

 

* * *

 

 **CC:** Hello brother.

 **JT:** Cass?

 **CC:** I have a phone now.

 **CC:** You are the second person I am talking to on this cell phone.

 **CC:** I spoke to Stephanie first.

 **CC:** This is called texting.

 **CC:** I like this.

 **JT:** How did you get my number?

 **CC:** Easily.

 

* * *

 

 **SB:** hey, j

 **JT:** Great, now you too?

 **SB:** don't be like that

 **SB:** i had fun last night

 **JT:** You mean when you punched me in the face and then beat up bad guys with me?

 **SB:** yah that

 **SB:** then we had pizza

 **SB:** it was awesome

 **SB:** i still think pineapple on your pizza is weird though

 **JT:** Are you pizzashaming me?

 **SB:** is that like kinkshaming

 **SB:** except with pizza

 **JT:** It's exactly like that.

 **SB:** then yah

 **SB:** yah i am

 **SB:** hey, j

 **JT:** What?

 **SB:** do you wanna build a snowman

 **JT:** Are you quoting Disney at me?

 **JT:** Don't start this, Brown. You'll lose.

 **SB:** is that a challenge

 

* * *

 

 **SB:** come with me

 **SB:** and you'll be

 **SB:** in a world of pure imagination

 **JT** : Take a look

 **JT:** And you'll see

 **JT:** Into your imagination

 **SB:** we'll begin

 **SB:** with a spin

 **SB:**  traveling in the world of my creation

 **JT:** What we'll see

 **JT:** Will defy explanation

 **SB:** if you want to view paradise

 **JT:** Simply look around and view it

 **SB:** anything you want to, do it

 **JT:** want to change the world?

 **SB:** there's nothing to it

 **JT:** There is no

 **SB:** life i know

 **JT:** To compare with pure imagination

 **SB:** living there

 **JT:** You'll be free

 **SB:** if you truly

 **JT:** Wish to be

 **SB:** that's so beautiful

 **SB:** i think i'm going to cry

 **JT:** I've got the movie if you'll bring the popcorn and soda.

 **SB:** done

 

* * *

 

 **JT:** Look at me

 **JT:** You may think you see

 **JT:** Who I really am

 **SB:** but you'll never know me

 **SB:** every day

 **SB:** it's as if i play a part

 **JT:** Now I see

 **JT:** If I wear a mask

 **JT:** I can fool the world

 **SB:** but i cannot fool my heart

 

* * *

 

 **SB:** all those days watching from the windows

 **JT:** All those years outside looking in

 **SB:** all that time never even knowing

 **JT:** Just how blind I've been

 **SB:** now i'm here, blinking in the starlight

 **JT:** Now I'm here, suddenly I see

 **SB:** standing here it's all so clear

 **JT:** I'm where I'm meant to be

 **SB:** and at last I see the light

 **JT:** And it's like the fog has lifted

 **TD:** Uh, guys...

 **TD:** You do know this is a groupchat, right?

 **JT:** ...

 **SB:** oops

 **JT:** I'm going to kill you.

 **DG:** Oh little brother

 **DG:** youre adorable

 **JT:** I'm killing every single one of you.

 **CC:** No you're not.

 **JT:** Except for Cass.

 **CC** : Thank you.

 **DG:**  Im saving this text chat forever

 **JT:** You're going down first, Dick.

 **JT:** Oh, hey. Filter's off.

 **JT:** :)

 **TD:** That emoji suddenly looks so much more evil to me now.

 

* * *

 

 **DG:** How do you like your new phone little d?

 **DW:** I really don't see what all the fuss is about.

 **DG:** Now we can talk to each other more!

 **DW:** Tt. If I wanted to talk to you, I would find you. There's no need for this nonsense.

 **DG:**  Did you just...click your tongue at me? In text form?

 **DG:** So

 **DG:** Cute

 **DG:** :))))

 **DW:** How is it possible that you're even more insufferable over this device than in person? And what in the world are those symbols supposed to mean?

 **DG:** Oh little d

 **DG:** Youll learn

 **DW:** I will stab you, Grayson.

 **DG:** Oh hey I just realized

 **DG:** Am I your first contact on your phone?

 **DW:** You're my only contact. Why?

 **DG:** :))))))

 

* * *

 

 **DW:** I have your number now, Todd.

 **JT:** What the hell?

 **DW:** I'll be watching.

 **JT:** Seriously.

 **JT:** Can not a single one of you be normal? For, like, five minutes?

 **DW:** How hypocritical of you, Todd. Do you not think before you open your mouth?

 **JT:** We're texting. My mouth isn't open.

 **DW:** Are you being this obtuse on purpose? Or is this your natural state of being?

 **DW:** If Grayson calls, tell him I have your number.

 **JT:** Why?

 **JT:** Demon brat?

 **JT:** I hate you bats

 

* * *

 

 **DW:** This is a courtesy notice. I have your number, Drake.

 **TD:** What? Why?

 **TD:** Delete it.

 **TD:**  Delete it, Damian.

 **TD:** You don't want to talk to me. I don't want to talk to you. Delete it.

 **TD:** Damian?

* * *

 

 **CC:** Little brother.

 **DW:** I was just about to text you.

 **CC:** :)

 **DW:** What is that?

 **CC:** It is a smile face.

 **CC:** : eyes ) mouth

 **CC:** Smile.

 **DW:** Why this nonsensical form of communication?

 **CC:** It is happy. I like it.

 **DW:** Hm.

 

* * *

 

 **SB:** heyyy dami

 **DW:** No.

 **SB:** aw what's wrong, d

 **SB:** bat got your tongue

 **DW:** I demand you stop texting me this instant.

 **SB:** dami

 **SB:** i'm hurt

 **SB:** :)

 **DW:** Cain told me what that is. That is a smile face. Are you mocking me?

 **SB:** smiley face

 **DW:** What?

 **SB:** it's called a smiley face

 **SB:** you're so cute

 **DW:** I'm not speaking to you, Brown.

 **SB:** but i'm speaking to you

 **SB:** let me tell you about my day

* * *

 

 **DW:** Hello, Father.

 **BW:** Damian. Did Dick get you a phone?

 **DW:** He did. He has been annoying me with it ever since.

 **BW:** Don't worry about him.

 **DW:** I wasn't.

 **BW:** Alright.

 

* * *

 

 **BW:** Jason, where are you.

 **JT:** Why do you want to know?

 **BW:** Jason.

 **JT:** I'm not telling you anything.

 **BW:** Answer my question.

 **JT:** At my safehouse. What's this about?

 **BW:** Are you sure that's where you are?

 **JT:** Yes. Seriously, what?

 **BW:** Look up from your phone.

 **JT:** Why?

 **JT:** Shi ( _message unsent_ )

 

* * *

 

 **JT:** Just when he thought he was safe...

 **TD:** What did I do now?

 

* * *

**BW:** Dick, come here.

 **DG:** Why bruce summoning me like this? How lord of the manor

 **DG:** Wait

 **DG:** Oh my god

 **BW:** Dick, whatever you're thinking, don't.

 

* * *

 

 **DG:** Guys

 **DG:** Bruce is actually the lord of the manor

 **JT:** Wow. This is great.

 **SB:** how did we not see this before

 **TD:** Hold on.

 **TD:** If Bruce is lord of the manor, then that must make Damian...

 **DW:** What?

 **JT:** Well hello, little lord Fauntleroy

 

* * *

 

 **DG:** Hey cutie

 **BG:** Hey.

 **DG:** Hows the sweetest most beautiful person in the world doing?

 **BG:** I don't know, Dick. How are you doing?

 

* * *

 

 **DG:** Hi babs

 **BG:** What's up?

 **DG:** How do you feel about having dinner with me? ;)

 **BG:** You mean you and the rest of your family?

 **DG:** Yeah

 **DG:** But mostly me

 **BG:** How romantic.

 **DG:** I try

**Author's Note:**

> 'Is that a challenge' is indeed a reference to The Lion King. The first song they're quoting is, of course, 'Pure Imagination' from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Or...Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? The second one is 'Reflection' from Mulan. Then there's 'I See the Light' from Tangled.


End file.
